Testicle-sized speaker is the mutt’s nuts

(£15.99 from Amazon.co.uk)

Tell yourself that this is the best-looking portable speaker out there.  It would be great to whip out at the pub and connect to your iPhone to impress your mates.  It would also be pretty useful to connect to your laptop to boost the sound of music/movies/pornos while you’re away on business.

Tell your wife that this futuristic Dadget will bring a smile to little Johnny’s face whenever you use it to play his nursery rhymes from your iPod when you’re out and about.

This incredible portable speaker is quite a feat of engineering.  Its rounded shell is merely the size of an adult human’s testicle, and yet it gives sound that you would expect from a Blue Whale’s nut sack.

Coming in black or red, the X-MI X-Mini Capsule Speaker is really unlike any other speaker you will have ever seen before.  It arrives as a 5 cm diameter sphere, but with a smooth twist around its midriff it expands a few centimetres in the middle to give a concertina chamber for all of that loud sound goodness to bounce around in.  A simple power switch allows you to change between two different volume levels and the off setting, while an LED glows green whenever the unit is powered up.

Included in the box is a neat little retractable cable with a mini-USB connector on one side (to plug into the speaker itself) and a USB and 3.5 mm audio connector at the other end to connect to your audio device.  Sound is only transferred through the audio cable, with the USB connector being used solely as a power source to charge up the speaker’s internal battery (one charge being reportedly good for over 5 hours of playback).

Another nicety in the box is a black velvety bag with ‘Audio Equipment Pouch’ printed on it together with a rather obvious inventory list of what you should put in the bag.  Imagine my embarrassment when I tried to stuff a bunch of bananas in there just before reading ‘Fits 1 Capsule Speaker’.

So that’s the kit, now how does it perform?  I’ve tested the X-Mini on my iPhone and my laptop and I have to say that the sound quality is very impressive indeed considering its size and price.  Sure, you’re not going to be getting rid of your home speaker system and the sound cannot rival that of an expensive iPod dock.  But this is a portable speaker designed to be compact and easy to move around, and taking all that into account it performs remarkably well.

Pushing the volume of my Macbook Pro up to its maximum does reveal distortion when using the X-Mini at its lowest volume setting, but notching it up to its higher setting and throttling back the laptop volume improves matters no end.  Music remains clear while the achievable volume without distortion is certainly high enough to fill any room with pleasing sound.

Are there any down sides?  Well yes, there are a few.  With a one-speaker setup you naturally only get mono-sound, although a stereo version is available for a few extra pounds.  The power switch also feels a little loose, although I am pleased to say that it is still performing well at the moment.  Finally, while the provided pouch is very handy to keep the speaker and cable together, the drawstring doesn’t stay tight which means that stuff keeps dropping out of it if you’re not careful. 

Dadgets.info says that, all in all, this is a great value buy and one of the sexiest, most unusual speakers that you are likely to find.  The sound is good enough to fill most rooms with bedtime stories or grunge-funk, while the neat retractable cable means that the whole setup is unfussy and clean.  If you’re looking for a tiny speaker then you can’t go wrong, but if you want something a bit more powerful then you might want to try the two-speaker stereo version to give yourself a fine set of bollocks.

Grin like a child at the tiny size, great looks and powerful sound.

Cry like a baby at the dodgy power switch and the cheap ‘audio equipment pouch’.

Dadgets.info rating: 8 out of 10

Your children need to be able to listen to their favourite MP3 nursery rhymes anyplace, anywhere, anytime.  No, they really do.  Therefore you need to buy some portable speakers to connect to your iPod.  The fact that you want some speakers to listen to your own music and movies when you’re staying in cushy hotels on business trips is merely a coincidence.

I’ve recently found myself in this position and I provide the fruits of my research below.  I was looking for a compact set of speakers that didn’t need replaceable batteries and wouldn’t cost more than my baby boy’s Christmas money could afford.   It’s OK, I’m only joking.  I did go halves with him in the end (he cried when I tried to take all his money).  Anyway, here are the 3 candidates:

Setron Portable Folding Speakers (£6.95 from Amazon)

These seemed like they might do the job – small, foldable, and cheap enough for my Henry to have some money left over to buy his nappies and milk this month.  But sadly these speakers are amongst the ugliest I have ever seen in my entire life.  After vomiting violently into a rusty bucket I continued my search.

iStuff Companion Speakers (£10.98 from Amazon)

These seem a little more elegant in their slim design, and they are also completely battery-free (the Setron vomit speakers require batteries or a USB connection for power).  However, I thought they looked a little like a woman’s compact mirror – not a cool look for me…ahem…I mean for Henry.

X-MI X-Mini Capsule Speaker (£16.10 from Amazon)

I spontaneously ejaculated when I first saw this (always a good sign).  It is tiny, powerful, and sexier than Jennifer Lopez licking Jessica Alba’s inner thigh.  It has a built-in rechargeable battery that is good for 5 hours and can be charged via USB.   The reviews say that it is an amazingly compact yet powerful speaker, and Henry now wants one badly.   The only downside is that it is a single speaker and not stereo like the others.  However, the other 2 have only a few centimetres separating their speakers, so I doubt that any decent stereo effect can be obtained anyway (incidentally there is a stereo version of this speaker - X-MI X-Minimax Speakers at £22.98 from Amazon).

After wiping myself down I have now placed an order for the X-MI X-Mini capsule speaker and I’ll be sure to review it when it arrives. (Full review now here)