Your children need to be able to listen to their favourite MP3 nursery rhymes anyplace, anywhere, anytime.  No, they really do.  Therefore you need to buy some portable speakers to connect to your iPod.  The fact that you want some speakers to listen to your own music and movies when you’re staying in cushy hotels on business trips is merely a coincidence.

I’ve recently found myself in this position and I provide the fruits of my research below.  I was looking for a compact set of speakers that didn’t need replaceable batteries and wouldn’t cost more than my baby boy’s Christmas money could afford.   It’s OK, I’m only joking.  I did go halves with him in the end (he cried when I tried to take all his money).  Anyway, here are the 3 candidates:

Setron Portable Folding Speakers (£6.95 from Amazon)

These seemed like they might do the job – small, foldable, and cheap enough for my Henry to have some money left over to buy his nappies and milk this month.  But sadly these speakers are amongst the ugliest I have ever seen in my entire life.  After vomiting violently into a rusty bucket I continued my search.

iStuff Companion Speakers (£10.98 from Amazon)

These seem a little more elegant in their slim design, and they are also completely battery-free (the Setron vomit speakers require batteries or a USB connection for power).  However, I thought they looked a little like a woman’s compact mirror – not a cool look for me…ahem…I mean for Henry.

X-MI X-Mini Capsule Speaker (£16.10 from Amazon)

I spontaneously ejaculated when I first saw this (always a good sign).  It is tiny, powerful, and sexier than Jennifer Lopez licking Jessica Alba’s inner thigh.  It has a built-in rechargeable battery that is good for 5 hours and can be charged via USB.   The reviews say that it is an amazingly compact yet powerful speaker, and Henry now wants one badly.   The only downside is that it is a single speaker and not stereo like the others.  However, the other 2 have only a few centimetres separating their speakers, so I doubt that any decent stereo effect can be obtained anyway (incidentally there is a stereo version of this speaker – X-MI X-Minimax Speakers at £22.98 from Amazon).

After wiping myself down I have now placed an order for the X-MI X-Mini capsule speaker and I’ll be sure to review it when it arrives. (Full review now here)