Your wife thinks that layers of concrete and plasterboard actually magnify her voice, which is why she insists on talking to you when she is in a completely different room/floor/building to you. To compound the problem she then expects you to have absorbed and understood every last word of what she was banging on about, and she will test you on this at some random point over the next 7 years.

As annoying as this behaviour may be, it does open up a wonderful possibility for Dadget purchasing. When there is a Dadget that you simply must have, but you cannot apply any of my previous Wife Approval Tips, then you simply need to adopt the woman’s approach. In actual fact, don’t even go to the trouble of pretending to try to talk to them when you’re in a different room. How will they know?

“Look, honey – our new FreeSat HD+ box has finally arrived!”

“What? You never asked me about that.”

“Don’t be silly! Don’t you remember last month when we had that chat while you were drying your hair in the bedroom and I was taking a dump downstairs? You never said a word when I asked permission. In fact, you told me to pick up this awesome head torch too. Thank you, darling. I love you.”

“I…but…oh, er, yes, I think I remember now. I love you too.”

“You are my radiant pearl of beauty.”

At the recent Consumer Electronics Show wank-fest in Las Vegas, the future of TV was unveiled and it turned out to be surprisingly useful.  Yahoo! have got into bed with Sony, Samsung and LG, engaged in a little foreplay/insemination, and spawned Yahoo! Connected TV.

New TVs will soon have the ability to display Yahoo! widgets over your normal televisual viewing matter.  So while your devil child is forcing you to watch 6 straight hours of CBeebies you can still catch up on the latest news headlines, weather forecasts and Facebook activity of your mates.  Once Yahoo! can integrate a live-streaming video baby monitor they’ve got the perfect Dadget.