As well as helping his Daddy out with Dadget reviews, my little Henry also helps his Mummy to review coffee shops for their baby-friendliness. To read all about Henry’s adventures with my wife then please check out Coffee with Babies.

We’ve all been there – you’ve been caught in the breastfeeding room having a sneaky look, and you need to make a swift getaway from the fuzz. As you make your escape with your pushchair and baby, the rozzers deploy their stinger device, burst your tyres, and lock you up for being the pervert that you are.

Avoid such inconveniences by using some Tube Seal (Halfords, £7.99). Simply inject this gooey substance into your pushchair’s inflatable tyres, and they become immune to punctures from stinger devices. It worked great for our Jané Slalom Pro pushchair, which was getting frequent punctures from rose thorns, nails and other sharp objects that we encounter on our travels. The added bonus is that I can now go back to catching a bit of nipple without any fear of the stinger.

$23.95 CAD from Pida

A necklace? For heterosexual fathers?

Tell yourself that you’re a modern father who is fully in touch with his sexuality. You also enjoy cuddles with your baby, and the Daddy HeartString Baby’s Companion might just be able to stop your child from chewing your face.

Tell your wife that just because you are wearing a necklace it does not mean that she can start buying you pink shirts.

The HeartString Baby’s Companion (HBC) is essentially a lump of plastic on a necklace for your baby to touch, chew and yank on while they are breastfeeding or cuddling you. I have limited lactation powers but I do enjoy a good cuddle with Henry, so I offered to give the ‘Daddy’ version a go.

Reassuringly, the lump of plastic is made of well-researched ‘safe’ materials. The HeartString web site impressively proclaims that the material is made to ASTM, CPSIA, MSDS and FDA standards. Well, thank F*CK for that. The necklace is also pretty special – it’s a non-toxic organic cotton lanyard that has a special safety-release connector to stop your little pride and joy from inadvertently garrotting you. The whole package comes with a nice little cotton bag to keep it safe and clean.

I feel so used

The standard HBC, for parents with breasts, comes in a heart shape with many pastel shades to choose from. For the special ‘Daddy’ version it comes in a black and white disc. I do feel a little stereotyped here – just because it’s black I’m supposed to be impressed? When you’re trying to get blokes to wear a necklace you really need to work a little harder than this. I’d suggest bundling the HBC with a Taser and some pepper spray to help you deal with the inevitable teasing.

Chew on this, son

So regardless of any philosophical debate on necklaces and manhood, how does the HBC actually work in practice? Well, at 9 months old Henry is increasingly difficult to keep still, and so I’ve been trying the HBC as a device to stop him from leaping from my arms whenever I hold him for more than 30 seconds. In that role it has performed pretty well, and it usually keeps his attention for a couple of minutes. He stares at it while passing between his hands and he also enjoys chewing it with his solitary tooth. The plastic seems to hold up fairly well against this treatment, although Henry’s tooth does leave permanent indentations on the surface.

I have also put the HBC to good use when changing Henry into his pyjamas at night. When I lay him on his back and begin to undress him, he instinctively tries to roll over and begin crawling unless I can come up with a good distraction. Having the HBC dangling from my neck while I’m leaning over does seem to do the trick more often than not, although in this case any old necklace would probably do the trick.

Diamonds are for babies

So what is the downside of the HBC? Well, as well as the fundamental problem of guys wearing necklaces, there is also a strong possibility that regular HBC use will result in your child developing quite a necklace-chewing habit. Diamonds, pearls, emeralds – they could all become fair game, and your sweet little baby could soon be tasting the odd carat or two.

Dadgets.info says that if you can bear to wear a necklace, then you might find some good uses for the HeartString Baby’s Companion. If only the manufactures could spend some time making it more manly (rather than just making it black) then it could develop into an essential Daddy Dadget.

Grin like a child when your baby cuddles you for longer because he has something nearby to grab on and chew, other than your ear.

Cry like a baby at the fact that you are actually wearing a necklace. And the fact that your baby will destroy all other necklaces from this day forward.

Dadgets.info rating: 6 out of 10