All Dads need a thermometer for checking up on their children’s various illnesses, so why not make it a Dadget thermometer? Admittedly, I am quite drawn to using an old-fashioned mercury thermometer – there’s something about the threat of a rectal temperature reading that keeps kids from feigning illness – but a modern father needs a modern thermometer.

Mothercare Forehead Thermometer (£3.99 from Mothercare)

Cheap, cheerful, and completely impractical is this offering from Mothercare. It is a heat sensitive strip that you press against your child’s forehead like a crazed gunman for about 7 hours before it finally changes colour to indicate the appropriate temperature. If you’ve ever tried using this on a real-life, wriggling, screaming baby then you’ll soon realise that your £4 would have been much better spent on some Whisky miniatures.

Braun Thermoscan 4520 (£29.34 from Amazon.co.uk)

This is more like it. The Braun Thermoscan is digital, it takes temperatures within only a few seconds, and is the tool of choice for doctors which is reassuring. My only gripe with the Braun is that it uses single-use covers for the ear sensor. I’m all for hygiene, but the hassle and expense of buying disposable covers for the rest of my life just seems like a bit of a ball ache. So while it might be the natural choice for doctors, it ain’t mine.

Brother Max 3-in-1 Thermometer
(£35 from JoJo Maman Bebe)

The Brother Max has it all – a digital display, the ability to read temperatures from forehead or ear, a room temperature option, and a neat plastic travel case. Furthermore, it doesn’t require any disposable covers. The perfect thermometer then? Find out in my full review in a few weeks.

If you’ve ever looked into buying a baby product from the company Stokke, you will know how evangelical they can be. Their Xplory pushchairs “develop social as well as learning skills,” while their Sleepi cot ensures “the right environment, mood, and space” for your baby to sleep in. It almost makes you feel like a crack-whore parent if you don’t follow the guiding principles of their products.

Stokke’s Tripp Trapp highchair is another prime example. “Your child learns from watching, observing, and interacting with you. The single and most natural place for this interaction is around the family table.” Therefore, Stokke concludes, to make your little boy eat from a highchair with a tray would be as irresponsible as giving him a box of matches and some fireworks.

Clearly, the folk at Stokke have never had children themselves, because if they had they would realise that sitting your 10 month old baby at the family table for dinner is only going to get your walls daubed with peanut butter and your carpets stained with spaghetti sauce. So for those of us in the real world who still really like the flexibility of Stokke’s Tripp Trapp highchair, but value their soft furnishings, here are the options for trays that attach to the Tripp Tripp.

ergo:design Clic Clac Tray (around £40)

Not easy to get hold of in the UK, the Clic Clic has a wooden design that blends in nicely with the Tripp Tripp. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a lip around the edge so any spillages will just dribble off the edge. Kind of pointless, then.

Kidzmix Sloppi Tray (price unknown)

The Sloppi is also wooden, but has the added benefit of a lip to contain spills. It is also handmade in the UK, so what more could you ask for? Well a website that isn’t devoid of information would be a good start. It would also be nice to have a contact e-mail address that actually works. If you want to buy this tray you’ll soon realise that you can’t, no matter how hard you try.

Stokke Table Top (around £45)

I should add that Stokke do make a ‘tray’ but it is designed to be attached to your table, not clipped on to the Tripp Trapp itself. One problem is the fact that it needs to connect directly to the table itself via suction cups, so you can forget using a tablecloth to protect the surface. It is also easy for a baby to remove by grabbing the edges and sliding it about (Henry particularly enjoyed doing this). So for babies it is definitely not a solution, but for older children who can be trusted a little more then it might be OK.

4mykid Playtray (£49 from Playtray.co.uk)

This is my solution of choice. The Danish company 4mykid has designed a really simple tray that attaches easily to the Tripp Trapp, has a huge lip to gather spills, and wipes down incredibly easily. The only downside is that it is plastic instead of the Tripp Trapp’s native wooden finish, but it actually looks pretty cool once attached. Henry and I have bought a Playtray and we’ll give you our full review shortly.

Before you had a child, a cosy little beach shelter would have been just the thing for a bit of summer nookie with your mistress. But now you’re a father, and your mistress has left you for a man without vomit on his clothing, you’ll be needing a beach shelter to house your gorgeous wife and child on those hot summer days.

Beach Shelta Family UV Beach Tent (£53.99 from Travelling With Children)

Shelta are an Aussie company and should therefore know a thing or two about sun protection. Their UV Beach Tent is self-erecting (snigger, snigger) and takes only seconds to construct. It has sand pockets to keep it firmly rooted to the beach, and also comes with a handy groundsheet so you don’t need to lay towels inside. Unfortunately it costs quite a bit of wonga - much too much when you consider what else is on the market.

Nivea Family Cabana Sun Tent (£39.95 from Jacksons Camping)

A little more reasonably priced is the Family Cabana Sun Tent from Nivea, who are better known for producing sun cream than sun shelters. Their sun-tent is also ‘pop-up’ which means that it will be erect quicker than a teenager in a brothel. Sadly, it doesn’t have an integrated ground sheet so you’ll have to use towels to avoid your little boy getting sandy balls while he crawls around the tent.

Coleman Sundome (£14.99 from Amazon.co.uk)

Can the winner of my sun shelter buying guide really cost only £15? Yes siree Bob! The Coleman Sundome really is a top-notch beach shelter for very little moola. It has the all-important sand pockets for stability, and impressively it has a huge groundsheet that extends far beyond the tent. This provides a really sizeable area to frolic around in, and has the added feature that it can fully zip up to close the dome while you are changing, or perhaps to hide your huge Dadget collection while you’re out at sea. The only downside is that it is not self-erecting – like a married man, it will require a few minutes of careful attention before it is fully erect.

Henry and I have bought a Coleman Sundome and we’ll give you our full review very soon! (Full review now here)

We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of something highly important, like browsing for hairy armpit fetish pornography, and then your baby monitor shrieks out a weird wailing sound. Your wife looks at you from the kitchen sink and gives you a flick of the head as if to say, “Go upstairs to see if he’s alright. And no, I’m never growing my armpit hair.” If only you had a video baby monitor.

Summer Baby’s Quiet Sounds Video Monitor
(£84.99 from Mothercare)

Yes this is (relatively) cheap, but the camera is only black and white and the monitor is an old-fashioned CRT. Man has walked on the moon, the Berlin wall has fallen, Dr Who is on his 11^th incarnation, and we now have colour cameras and LCD screens. This is an embarrassment of a baby monitor that only a time-warped hermit should consider buying.

Safety 1st High Clarity Colour Digital Video Monitor
(£149.99 from Kiddicare)

Now this is more like it. A full colour baby monitor with a hand-held colour LCD screen receiver. The camera also has infrared LEDs that invisibly light up your baby’s nursery during the night and allow you a clear view of him straining out his midnight poo. My only gripes are that the screen is pretty tiny and you can’t hook the camera up to the Internet. Why would you want to do that? Well…

Y-Cam Knight Wireless IP Security Camera
(£154.99 from CMaC)

Be aroused. Be very aroused. This is the video monitor of your dreams. Primarily sold for CCTV applications, this is the kind of high tech dadgetary you may not have realised that you needed, but you soon will.

The Y-Cam Knight is a standalone colour camera, with infrared night vision, that connects to your home wireless network to allow you to view the camera from your laptop. Did I also mention that you can view it from your iPhone? Did I also mention that grandparents can securely log in and view it over the Internet? Did I also mention that you can move it to your hairy-armpitted Swedish au-pair’s bedroom when your baby has grown up?

Needless to say, I’ve bought one of these fine fellows from the good people at CMaC and I’ll provide a full review here shortly. (Full review now here)

Your children need to be able to listen to their favourite MP3 nursery rhymes anyplace, anywhere, anytime.  No, they really do.  Therefore you need to buy some portable speakers to connect to your iPod.  The fact that you want some speakers to listen to your own music and movies when you’re staying in cushy hotels on business trips is merely a coincidence.

I’ve recently found myself in this position and I provide the fruits of my research below.  I was looking for a compact set of speakers that didn’t need replaceable batteries and wouldn’t cost more than my baby boy’s Christmas money could afford.   It’s OK, I’m only joking.  I did go halves with him in the end (he cried when I tried to take all his money).  Anyway, here are the 3 candidates:

Setron Portable Folding Speakers (£6.95 from Amazon)

These seemed like they might do the job – small, foldable, and cheap enough for my Henry to have some money left over to buy his nappies and milk this month.  But sadly these speakers are amongst the ugliest I have ever seen in my entire life.  After vomiting violently into a rusty bucket I continued my search.

iStuff Companion Speakers (£10.98 from Amazon)

These seem a little more elegant in their slim design, and they are also completely battery-free (the Setron vomit speakers require batteries or a USB connection for power).  However, I thought they looked a little like a woman’s compact mirror – not a cool look for me…ahem…I mean for Henry.

X-MI X-Mini Capsule Speaker (£16.10 from Amazon)

I spontaneously ejaculated when I first saw this (always a good sign).  It is tiny, powerful, and sexier than Jennifer Lopez licking Jessica Alba’s inner thigh.  It has a built-in rechargeable battery that is good for 5 hours and can be charged via USB.   The reviews say that it is an amazingly compact yet powerful speaker, and Henry now wants one badly.   The only downside is that it is a single speaker and not stereo like the others.  However, the other 2 have only a few centimetres separating their speakers, so I doubt that any decent stereo effect can be obtained anyway (incidentally there is a stereo version of this speaker - X-MI X-Minimax Speakers at £22.98 from Amazon).

After wiping myself down I have now placed an order for the X-MI X-Mini capsule speaker and I’ll be sure to review it when it arrives. (Full review now here)